Flagged and Removed Read online

  FLAGGED AND REMOVED

  Darcie Wilder

  8/26/2014

  Every typo tells a stroy

  Part I

  new york > bronx > all community > pets

  Reply flag [?] : miscategorized prohibited spam best of

  Posted: 2013-10-02, 3:14 PM EDT

  11 REPTILES (fordham)

  Hi,

  I am going through a difficult breakup and impulsively adopted 16 different types of reptiles over Craiglist.

  I have made a huge mistake. My roommates are furious.

  I have 1 ball python, 7 various geckos, a bearded dragon, and 2 red slider turtles.

  They are all named “Amanda.”

  No rehoming fee.

  • Location: fordham

  • it’s not ok to contact this poster with other services

  Posting ID: 4105291680 Posted: 2013-10-02, 3:14PM EDT

  new york > brooklyn >for sale / wanted >materials - by owner

  Reply flag [?] : miscategorized prohibited spam best of

  Posted: 2013-12-12, 1:16 PM EST

  free gifts - $75 (bensonhurst)

  free gifts in the mail

  i get these packages, sometimes twice in a week, in ONE week!

  i don’t have room for all of these things boxes- only boxes, sometimes envelopes but usually boxes.

  flashlights, clock radios, et cetera.

  my wife used to say - “harold, these boxes are going to be the d-e-a-t-h of me!”

  i said, “spelling it is just as worse, helen - you don’t even THINK that! T - H - I - N - K!”

  she says, she said, “spelling it is much better.”

  so superstituous.

  helen, unfortunately, passed away this february.

  i count my blessings every day that it was her. that it was me to live alone, this cold, cluttered home. she would never have wanted this i’ve been holding onto these packages for so long, the boxes that she tripped on before we had to go to the ER.

  my son tells me it’s time to get rid of them. so be it.

  helen, i’m getting rid of these boxes.

  • Location: bensonhurst

  • it’s not ok to contact this poster with other services

  Posting ID: 4505321680 Posted: 2013-12-12, 1:16PM EST

  new york > queens > all for sale / wanted > household items - by owner

  Reply flag [?] : miscategorized prohibited spam best of

  Posted: 2013-11-06, 3:47PM EST

  MAYONNAISE - $40

  I am looking to relocate my stash of Hellman’s mayonnaise.

  It’s become too much, and I feel $40 is a fair price.

  • it’s not ok to contact this poster with other services

  Posting ID: 4175523352 Posted: 2013-11-06, 3:47PM EST

  los angeles > central LA > housing > sublets & temporary

  Reply flag [?] : miscategorized prohibited spam best of

  Posted: 2013-09-23, 4:50 PM PDT

  - $200 CHEAP HOUSING IN TRENDY AREA (SILVER LAKE)

  Hi!

  I have quite a deal! I lived in LA for a few months and had to move because of a family emergency. Parked on a small, quiet residential street is my beloved silver volks. I wasn’t able to sell it in time, and have left the keys with a beloved, caring soul on an adjacent street. I am willing to let you live in my car for the small price of $200/month. The car is fully functioning and completely in my name, but because I have not transferred the registration, is not able to be sold or driven. I already have a reflector to block out sunlight, and am 100% positive you would go unnoticed. Once we speak, I can direct you to that caring soul who has my keys.

  FULL DISCLOSURE: you are welcome to use the trunk, of course, but I still have a few items from my time spent in LA- a blender, a dvd player, and some toys my pet rabbit used to play with.

  RIP BUTTER :(

  • cats are OK dogs are OK - wooof

  • Location: SILVER LAKE

  • it’s not ok to contact this poster with other services

  Posting ID: 4086859550 Posted: 2013-09-23, 4:50PM PDT

  new york > manhattan >all for sale / wanted >appliances - by owner

  Reply flag [?] : miscategorized prohibited spam best of

  Posted: 2014-04-04, 4:27PM EDT

  Brand New Device - $50

  With required cables. It is not compatible with my old analog TV.

  Brand New TV Streaming Device (still in box)

  So someone can have a real bargain for $50.

  Please call

  • do not contact me with unsolicited services or offers

  • posted: 7 days ago updated: 16 minutes ago

  Posting ID: 4777859550 Posted: 2014-04-04, 4:27PM EDT

  new york >manhattan >all gigs >talent gigs

  Reply flag [?] : miscategorized prohibited spam best of

  Posted: 2014-05-16, 2:44PM EDT

  LET ME TAKE YOUR SELFIE

  Available cheerful,

  friendly, cooperative preteen to teach you how to take the coolest most flattering #selfie!! do you want a #selfie as good as the best and brightest of New York City?

  I’ve taught all my friends and now I’m totally on the market for new clients!! I can teach you:

  • angle

  • lights

  • technological specs

  • uploading

  • faces

  I’m in sixth grade so I can only meet in public and take cash but I’m willing to charge $10 for the entire lesson, my mother or father will be present

  • do not contact me with unsolicited services or offers

  Posting ID: 4319859550 Posted: 2014-05-16, 2:44PM EDT

  new york >queens >for sale / wanted >materials - by owner

  Reply flag [?] : miscategorized prohibited spam best of

  Posted: 2014-03-12, 1:12PM EDT

  FOR $2.65 YOU CAN ADD A RAT - $3 (OZONE PARK)

  DEAL JUST FOR YOU

  FOR AN EXTRA SMALL COST, THE COST

  OF A MEDIUM-TO-LARGE CUP OF COFFEE

  BEFORE TAXES,

  I WILL ADD A RAT

  I REPEAT, 1 RAT FOR $2.65

  CA$$$H ONLY

  • do not contact me with unsolicited services or offers

  Posting ID: 4359702880 Posted: 2014-03-12, 1:12PM EDT

  new york >manhattan >all services offered >event services

  Reply flag [?] : miscategorized prohibited spam best of

  Posted: 2013-09-07, 7:58 PM EDT

  hoarding tour

  heyyyyy good lookin! whaaaaaaaaatcha got cookin!

  due to the popular of the show “hoarders” one

  of several reallifepeering

  inside the life of a hoarder,

  and i offering the following:

  i. 1 hoarder artifacts and finds

  ii. hoarder pictures

  iii. hoardering tour of house and home

  iv. 4 meal with a hoarder out

  v. and about

  vi. 5 tour and meal with hoarder

  because of the public’s invested interest in hoarder, me, myself, a real life hoarder is lookin to ca$$$$h in on a few buckaroos here and there to help myself stay afloat.

  1 hoader artifacts and finds: you are allowed to visit (no tour) for less than 15 minutes and get to find an artifact to keep.

  THE CATCH IS: i dont like to let me stuff go, so you will have to convince me that you deserve it. i am hoping that besides the fun of your own prize, i might be able to get closer to the idea of parting with some of my belongings

  ○ 2 i will send you pictures of my residence

  ○ 3 a visit, no longer than 2 hrs, of my home

  ○ 4 meal out

  and about the town so you can see what i look like functioning/ab
le, how my hoardering affects those i see and what i do and hwat i look like out and about

  ○ 5 tour and meal i

  ○ will cook

  ○ 6 grand pack/ everything

  • it’s not ok to contact this poster with other services

  Posting ID: 49416859541 Posted: 2013-09-07, 7:58PM EDT

  new york > queens > personals > casual encounters

  Reply flag [?] : miscategorized prohibited spam best of

  Posted: 2013-09-23, 6:28PM EDT

  looking 4 u 2 show me - w4m - 71 (astoria)

  hi i am looking for a man to show me

  i have a phone plan and am look for a man to show me how to use my phone

  i have the iphone

  i am a quick learner so i dont think we need to meet often so i chose “casual encounter”

  i can not pay but i just need phone for simple things like send messages, maybe email, make call - i am older and can not figure out how

  the man at att tried to show me but i can not remember

  i use computer quite well so i think i am capable

  i cant pay but we can meet at dunkin donuts and i will buy you coffee, bagel, coffee cake - anything u want!

  • Location: Astoria

  • it’s not ok to contact this poster with other services

  Posting ID: 40789692626 Posted: 2013-09-23, 6:28PM EDT

  new york >manhattan >all gigs >event gigs

  Reply flag [?] : miscategorized prohibited spam best of

  Posted: 2014-02-22, 7:58 AM EDT

  Untitled Ferret Project

  Ferrets are completely outlawed in the state of New York. However, they are a quite amazing and inspiring creature. I adore them, and in fact breed them. I am passionate about each ferret and love them deeply. As if they were my own sons and daughters.

  However, some of them are more fit than others. Some are more capable than others. It is increasingly difficult to use some of them for my purposes - an event consisting of various skill sets and competitions to measure grace and agility behind competition.

  Inception

  Once my spare bedroom became “unusable” for a Air BNB’s purposes (please inquire for more details on THAT pyramid scheme) I was finally allowed to let myself supplement income, I am looking for a few good ferrets to help me with year three of

  “Ferret Olymics”

  (note the official name: “Ferret Olymics,” as to not infringe on other competitions copy right trademarks, due to the fact I do not believe they are entitled to my funds for my use)

  Participation

  Ferrets must sustain desire. We desire them to be in games, but listen – without a desire we are not doing justice/fairness to them, it compromises the games, our love for them, the ferrets do not have to be up to showing standards but rather just have any ability to compete with the desire (Aforementioned)

  Tips

  More youthful ferrets are typically more fun. If you would like more information regarding the games, attendance at the games, or submitting your ferret for approval please message me directly.

  I ensure all ferrets, with proper discipline and appropriate enthusiasm, just have a ball.

  I must ask, strongly request – please be discreet as the aforementioned legal issues in this state are compromising to the games as well as our loving relationships with these beautiful creatures.

  • it’s not ok to contact this poster with other services

  Posting ID: 4921579112 Posted: 2014-02-22, 7:58AM EDT

  new york > brooklyn > all personals > missed connections

  Reply flag [?] : miscategorized prohibited spam best of

  Posted: 2014-02-11, 2:09PM EST

  miss - m4w

  i saw you, sat next to you

  then across from you thinking

  about posting this

  trying to tell you

  without speaking

  just feeling

  • it’s not ok to contact this poster with other services

  Posting ID: 4210439113 Posted: 2014-02-11, 2:09PM EST

  new york >manhattan >all services offered >therapeutic services

  Reply flag [?] : miscategorized prohibited spam best of

  Posted: 2013-12-17, 9:58 AM EST

  back walker

  everyone loves it when they light some aromatherapy candles, slide down on that hardwork floor as their friend effortlessly hops on their back!

  aaahhhhh… that feels better

  that’s where i come in!

  5’2” brunette 118 pounds will walk on your back until it cracks!

  appointment only!

  improved posture is only a … hOP… Skip… and JUMP away!

  • it’s not ok to contact this poster with other services

  Posting ID: 4226859229 Posted: 2013-12-17, 9:58 AM EST

  new york > brooklyn > all for sale / wanted > wanted - by owner

  Reply flag [?] : miscategorized prohibited spam best of

  Posted: 2013-11-07, 1:30 PM EST

  SEEKING

  i am SEEKING,

  please contact ASAP if you ARE ABLE, et c

  i know not what to do any more,,,,,,,,

  SEEKING, PLZ HELP, runni ng out

  • it’s not ok to contact this poster with other services

  Posting ID: 4177474460 Posted: 2013-11-07, 1:30PM EST

  new york > bronx > all community > pets

  Reply flag [?] : miscategorized prohibited spam best of

  Posted: 2014-05-15, 2:23 PM EDT

  Eating Reminder

  Looking to hire web-based location-unspecific personal assistant to communicate via SMS messages

  Your job: occasional reminder texts, don’t need to write them different, just every so often Pay $3-5 per SMS (only people with unlimited cell phone plans, please)

  I had a tulmuteous relationship with my mother who recently passed away. Needless to say - I’ve had trouble eating!

  I’ve never been perfect and sometimes I need help either remembering, or figuring out what to eat. I’m fearful that my mood swings related to unintentional fasting will hinder my personal progress.

  When single, I find myself well-fed and happy, yet whenever in the company, physical or emotionally, of a romantic interest, I find myself unable to “take care” of myself

  We don’t even have to meet, and I have paypal.

  • it’s not ok to contact this poster with other services

  Posting ID: 4082119550 Posted: 2014-05-15, 2:23PM EDT

  new york > brooklyn > all personals > casual encounters

  Reply flag [?] : miscategorized prohibited spam best of

  Posted: 2014-05-17, 5:15 PM EDT

  Looking for temp girlfriend

  sick and looking for someone to take care of me. average guy, i work freelance film/tv, have been fighting some virus for some time and my roommate is avoiding my plague. need food delivery, simple love/affection, no sex - im sick, and that would be bad of me. creepy. bring me water, homecooked or just warm food, and in return i can blow up your phone and send you selfies and be like an sms boyfriend. i like bangs. dont need drama have a lot of stuff going on too much to have talks lol also im kind of famous on twitter i can RT you to repay you hahaa. once i regain my strength, if you want, i can accompany you to birthday parties, movies, events, be your plus one - no sex, because that would be creepy

  • it’s not ok to contact this poster with other services

  Posting ID: 42745699948 Posted: 2014-05-17, 5:15PM EDT

  new york > bronx > all community > pets

  Reply flag [?] : miscategorized prohibited spam best of

  Posted: 2014-06-04, 4:35 PM EDT

  Boy to Help Me

  Looking for 16-18 year old straight boy to walk around with me.

  We’d be alone but it wouldn’t be romantic. But you’d like, be telling me what to do that would make it romantic if it was romantic (which it’s not)

  I’m 13, a girl, lol, I’m awkward and I want to be cool and
less awkward, I want to know what to do and what to say to get a boyfriend without looking like, dumb, lol, or nerdy, or like, idk

  • it’s not ok to contact this poster with other services

  Posting ID: 4276925988 Posted: 2014-06-04, 4:35PM EDT

  new york > discussion forums > health

  Reply flag [?] : miscategorized prohibited spam best of

  Posted: 2014-05-30, 9:07 PM EDT

  various toe disorders

  i have been experiencing extreme pain on the left side of my left foot.

  i can not offer any imbursement.

  i prefer to avoid medical search sites, diagnosis by computer triggers hypochondria

  in addition to the overwhelming pain, which inhibits my ability to feed, clothe, and bathe myself, the big toe on my right foot is in agony.

  it is not the easiest for me to reach my toes, oftentimes they are cut, whenever my big toe feels pressure, there is unbearable pain.

  unbearable. is this an ingrown toe?

  toe reminds me - it’s red - of rosascea, cherry blossomed red noses like iconic picture of JM Morgan. Although black and white, his cane, his fiery angry to not be photographed due to the roscea on his nose.

  i, too, would like to spare you my unsightly affliction.

  also have noticed a strange bump on the toe adjacent to pinkie toe unsure if it requires diagnosis. what are differences between calluses and warts?

  thank you

  • it’s not ok to contact this poster with other services

  Posting ID: 40112859511 Posted: 2014-05-30, 9:07PM EDT

  new york > discussion forums > housing

  Reply flag [?] : miscategorized prohibited spam best of

  Posted: 2014-01-02, 5:45PM EST

  looking for advice

  hi craigslist im hear because i’m not sure what to do!

  i recently moved into an apartment building and everyone is super nice. there are a lot of adorable dogs and friendly puppies that i get to pet in the halls. it’s super fun living all on my own.